Character is not something that you can teach your kids in one day. In fact, I’m pretty sure it will take a life time, but for now, my job is to help show my kids the building blocks of character. Another way I think about this is that right now I am helping piece together the skeleton of character for my children by giving them practice at doing things that display that. Then as they grow older, I will fill in the “meat” of that skeleton. The real stuff of character. Eventually they will no longer need me to teach them character–they will be a person of character themselves. Again, today I give them the practice so that their character habits will become their natural way of living out their life. I instill the habits now so that when they are older, they just do what they’ve always been taught–be a person of character.
One of the ways that I have my kids practice making choices of character, is by using a “Blessing Chart”. I’d show you a picture of this chart, but it’s nothing special. It’s basically a piece of paper with a bunch of stars on it. Whenever my kids bless somebody by going “above and beyond”–by thinking of someone else’s needs above their own, they receive a sticker on their Blessing Chart. We sometimes refer to them as “Random Acts of Kindness”. They are rewarded every time I see or hear that they have blessed someone else.
This chart, or reward system, was developed out of my desire to see my kids making choices to do kind things for one another with no desire for repayment. I wanted to see them sneaking around to do kind things for one another like making each other’s beds, holding the door open for one another, or giving up something special of theirs for their sibling. Some of my kids are better at this than others. One of my boys is especially good at finding things to do that bless others. One of my other boys can’t seem to find anything to do. I have to give him big hints as to what might be a blessing.
I also reward my kids when they have gone into a store or to someone’s house and been mindful of their behavior, noise level, etc. When they have left a store or house and they have behaved in such a way that blessed those they were with instead of exasperating them, they receive a reward on their “Blessing Chart”. I often say to them as we get out of the car, “Be a blessing!”
So when my kids have finished filling up a chart, they are rewarded with a coupon for a trip to the Dollar Store or a coupon to get an ice cream. Obviously, this is not going to go on forever, but my goal is to keep them blessing others and then eventually it will be their habit.
Is it working? Well, just the other day, I found 2 of my kids upstairs, secretly folding the piles of laundry in my room. Before the “Blessing Chart”, that would’ve never happened. Now, they saw a need, knew it would bless Mommy, and filled it. Sounds like it’s working to me. Now I just have to keep it going!
brandy…this is brilliant. seriously. now, to make one for our family!
you have very sweet helpers around. They for sure brightens my day a lot whenever I see them. I read a blog from one of your links:adozenshorts.blogspot.com High energy children, read it and enjoy some charachter building that took place in their Madison.
Sofia