I don’t know about you, but some days I am hard pressed to find a moment to just shut my brain off. Do you ever feel like that? Well, in those rare moments when I do get a thought to myself, I think about what I want my kids to be like when they grow up. I guess that’s kind of wierd, but I wonder, mom, do you ever do that? I mean really, not just the fluffy kind of thoughts like, “I want him/her to be nice, popular and to be everyone’s best friend.” I mean some nitty gritty detail.
Have you ever focused in on what specific character traits you want them to be like and then actually thought about how to help them achieve that? What about educational goals? Do you want to encourage them to go to college? Do you want them to have a free ride to college via your checkbook or do you want them to pay for it themselves? What are you doing now to help set them up for the opportunity to go to college? I suppose if you have preschoolers, you can’t exactly have them practice for the SAT yet (maybe “Baby Einstein” counts) but maybe starting a savings fund would be something tangeable you could be doing now. Admittedly, we have not been able to do that yet, but for some people that is do-able.
What is important to me is not going to be important to you. Every family comes in so many different varieties and flavors. Isn’t it wonderful that God does not make us in cookie cutter images of one another? I have a neighbor that has some kids that are way different than mine. Her kids have tough, abrasive personalities. They are “fighters”. Not physically, just in the way they approach life. That is not what I want for my kids. I want my kids to be “a sweet perfume to whoever they come in contact with.” But for that family it makes sense. The mom has the same personality. It’s probably where her boys learned it from, but do you know what? It is a gift to their youngest son. He was born deaf and I honestly, don’t know if he would be where he is today if it weren’t for his mom being a “fighter” on his behalf and now that he’s older, he can stand up for himself so that he is treated equally.
You see, every mom needs to ask herself different questions. Here’s some more to think about and obviously this list is not exhaustive. This is merely scratching the surface of what goes on in my brain on a daily basis. Do you want your children to be responsible and finish a job to completion? Do you want them to speak many languages? Do you want them to get along with their siblings? Do you want them to communicate with you when they are teenagers? Do want them to do well in sports? How do you want them to view money? With greediness or with an open hand? Do you want them to give into their passions and view porn on the internet? What about video games? Do you want a child who is addicted to gaming? Do you want a child who has a servant’s heart and willingly helps others with a happy heart? What about their spiritual lives? Do you care about that? Do you believe that parenting is just a free for all and you just hope for the best? Just what exactly is important to you in regards to your children?