Have you ever taken the time to think about the traditions you celebrate? I mean, why do you celebrate each tradition? Is it just what you’ve always done or is there significance to it?
Previous to having children, I didn’t put much thought into “tradition”. I just followed the ways of my family, doing what we’ve always done, but when our children came along it put my brain into high-gear. As we approached each holiday, especially Thanksgiving and Christmas, my husband and I would have numerous discussions about how it just seemed like we went through the motions and each holiday was exactly the same with no apparent meaning. Every waking moment would be usurped by our extended family, having strained conversations, great-grandpa watching football way too loud, grandpa deciding (every year) to take a shower at 1:55 pm when we were trying to eat lunch at 2:00 pm (right in middle of nap time which made grumpy children) and then when we finally got the kids down for a nap in an unfamiliar place, someone would inevitably walk into the room they were sleeping in, saying they were looking for something, and wake them up–cinching the deal on grumpy children. The best part was when they would then look at us like we had beastly children. So you see now why we had many conversations about why in the world we were doing what we were doing.
I think most parents want to establish something to do each year that is the same. Some choose to do things that they’ve always done and want to continue regardless of the meaning behind it. We, however, decided to think through every thing that we did for the holidays, rock the boat and do what we felt was the best way to celebrate for our immediate family in the long run. We wanted our kids to remember the whys of what we did and to be able to spend time at home together. That first year that we decided to change things…well, let’s just say that it was not well received. That was one of those moments that I was all too eager to allow my husband to stand up for our family and be the head of our home. It’s been a few years now and our changes seem to be accepted, but it hasn’t been easy to stand our ground and fight for what we think is the best choice for our children.
One of the biggest things to us was that we wanted to be able to be home for Christmas morning. We wanted to be able to get up at a leisurely pace, not on someone else’s schedule, and open our gifts in our pajamas. The reality is that our children are up before the sun, but at least we have the freedom to do that! We also wanted to be able to sit around and enjoy the gifts that were given and have time to put them together. Mainly, my husband builds 1000 piece Lego sets for our boys and I do the easier things like wrestle the toys out of their packaging and put batteries in.
We have also put a lot of thought into the food we eat and when. Now why is it that we have to eat turkey, mashed potatoes and green bean bake each year at 2:00pm? Why can’t we eat at a normal lunch hour? Since our children know that Santa was truly a man from the 3rd century that was called St. Nicholas and it is not him who we celebrate–that it’s Jesus’ birth we celebrate, we decided to convert our turkey-eating-holiday into a birthday party. Each year on Christmas, my children each get to pick a food that they would like to offer as their gift to Jesus at His birthday meal. We usually end up eating a modge podge of food like chicken nuggets, marshmallows, bagels with cream cheese, fruit salad and a birthday cake. It’s not exactly a nutritious meal, but on that one day, it doesn’t matter. It’s about offering our best (or favorite) to the King.
After we’re done celebrating together as a family and we’ve had a good nap, that’s when we head over to the home of extended family. We’re much more “ourselves” when we’ve grounded ourselves in meditating on the true meaning of Christmas, family time and good nap. Maybe it’s not what’s “always been done”, but now we find that the time with our extended family is much more enjoyable.
As we are in the midst of the holiday season, I encourage you to break the mold. Think through why you do what you do, talk with your spouse and do whatever it takes to put your family first. Make decisions based on how you want to celebrate–not on how everyone else thinks you should celebrate. Just don’t tell anyone where you got this rebellious streak or I might get into a lot of trouble with your family! 🙂
I was just discussing this very topic with some of my Mommy friends, we are all in agreement with you on this one, time for new traditions, OUR traditions. Good for you!