Forgiveness

Forgiveness

–verb (used with object) 1. to grant pardon for or remission of (an offense, debt, etc.); absolve. 2. to give up all claim on account of; remit (a debt, obligation, etc.). 3. to grant pardon to (a person). 4. to cease to feel resentment against: to forgive one’s enemies. 5. to cancel an indebtedness or liability of: to forgive the interest owed on a loan.

It always amazes me the way God uses my children to give me an understand of how He views me. After all, I am his daughter and He is my Daddy. Forgiveness is at the foundation of what He did for me and yet I struggle to accept it.

Just the other day, Mini-Me was having quite a day. She seemed quite clumsy and weepy about everything. Early in the day, she accidentally spilled her sister’s drink all over the floor. The Driver was there to take care of the situation and I didn’t even know about it until later when I began to stick to the floor.

So I had this vague awareness of what had happened in the back of my mind when Mini-Me approached me in the evening. Let me go back–a few minutes earlier I had been sitting outside with The Driver while the kids played. It is our nightly ritual to have a cup of coffee. I ran inside for just a second and left my coffee on the ground next to my chair figuring it was safe. Apparently not. Fast forward back to Mini-Me approaching me with, “Mom, what do you like in your coffee?” She stood there with my mug in her hand and some tears rimming her eyes. I calmly asked her what had happened, she explained that she accidentally knocked over my coffee and that now she was getting me a new cup. Then she began to weep. I explained to her that it was just coffee. No big deal. I would drink the new cup she’d poured me. Life happens.

Mini-Me seemed relieved that I was so easy-going about it and we went into the kitchen to add my cream and sugar. I gave her a hug and reminded her again (because she was still weepy) that I had forgiven her. I thought the issue was done. What I saw next is what I think God sees me do when He so easily offers me forgiveness. She ran upstairs to her room and had a good cry and when she was done with that, continued to mope around the house.

Yep, that would be me. God offers me forgiveness and I have a hard time readily accepting it. Why can’t I? I have yet to find the answer to this question. Instead I ask Him for forgiveness and then continue to torture myself with how unworthy I am of that forgiveness. His Word promises that He’s forgiven me. I think it’s just me that can’t forgive myself. For some reason, I think I need to cry more, beg more, connect the dots and do a little jig (or something foolish like that) before He’ll really forgive me.

As I watched my daughter mope around the house, I gained a greater understanding of being on God’s side of the coin. I was done with the whole coffee thing. I was moving on. I had given her my forgiveness. I wondered why was she not accepting it? Why must she cry, moan and wail over it? I felt like making a loud proclamation to her, “Move on, Girlfriend! I’m over it!” Ha! Ha! Can you imagine? God in Heaven shouting down to me, “Hey B! Get a grip and move on! I’m so over that.” Maybe then it would sink in.

With this perspective, I went to my daughter and told her what I saw. I shared with her my heart and how I struggle with the same thing and what I think God wants us to do instead. We spent some time reading Psalm 103. A passage so rich with encouragement, but what stood out to us both was verse 12, “as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.”

Thank goodness. Thank goodness He doesn’t expect us to do the song and dance to gain forgiveness. When I read the Old Testament, I often think to myself about how grateful I am that Jesus did pay the ultimate sacrifice for my sin because if I’d have lived in the Old Testament days…I don’t think I’d have time for doing anything other than offering sacrifices for my sin over and over again. I’d probably take one step away from the altar and be back again because I am one big sin ball.

I am thankful that I have a God that “if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (I John 1:9)….period. That’s it. Nothing more, nothing less.

Lord, help me to grasp the simplicity and yet the depth of this and be an example to my daughter so that she may understand it too.

MommySig

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One Reply to “Forgiveness”

  1. Karen

    after coming back from OGN, I really needed to hear this. I have stories to tell you. joy-filled, God is Good stories. but this is also how I saw God this week.
    this is a beautiful picture of forgiveness. I like how God loves to give us real-life situations as to show us how He forgives us.
    thanks for this.

    Reply

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