It’s been quite awhile since I’ve written on Mommy Map. I thought for sure I’d have more time during the summer break to write, but apparently God had another plan in mind for me. He wanted me to step away from here and use my time to pour into my children, some of those ways certainly not being what I expected!
One thing that He spoke clearly over me this summer was about creating margins in my life. Just like a book has margins around the edges, we too need margins around the edges of our life. We need room to breathe. I thought I had tried hard to not take on too much, but as I prayed over what was on my plate, He showed me that there was still much to be removed. So I spent that forced slower pace of life as I cared for my daughter in a wheelchair to pray over every single thing in my life, asking God to show me what I needed on my plate and why AND what needed to be removed.
They first thing He showed me was the things that are a part of me that I have no choice over and cannot be removed. He showed me a bit of who I am–some areas I had been in denial over. He showed me beyond the basics of being a wife and mom. He showed me that for now–in this season of life– I am a ministry wife and homeschool mom.
I was viewing my husband’s job as simply that–a job that sucked up a lot of time–and I wasn’t enjoying it. I had not fully embraced that as a result of his job, I am a ministry wife–something I never wanted to be. Never say never! I greatly underestimated how much of me is a ministry wife. The praying for my man, the listening to my husband talk & keeping my mouth closed so he has someone to confide in, the attending of church events, the late night power walks as we process through how we do life and ministry hand-in-hand, especially when we see the human side of ourselves and others. The “giving up” of my husband/daddy, time and again, as people need him 24/7. A large part of me serves Him by being who He created me to be as a ministry wife by quietly supporting and enabling my husband to do what he’s been called to do.
At one point during the summer, someone was interested in homeschooling so they asked me to share with them about how I do it. It was in those moments, when I gave the details of all that I do–the prepping, the planning–the summer before, monthly, weekly, daily–that I realized how much of me it takes to homeschool my children. Honestly, before that, I had again greatly underestimated how large a part of me is invested in it, especially with five students. Every part of it is just so much a part of my daily life that I didn’t think much about it and how it differs from others. Homeschooling is the choice that is right for my family, in this season, so I cannot seperate myself from it. That’s two parts of who I am that are unchangeable and take a large portion of me. So what’s left? Not much.
Not much is left so as I prayed about what I could do with the rest of me, God said, “Get rid of this and get rid of that. You are doing it out of obligation and it is meaningless to me when that is your heart. I want you to fully embrace who you are with joy and I want you to choose wisely what to do with your remaining time. I want you to choose something that is true worship to Me.” Uh…what would THAT be, Lord?
I have been studying Isaiah recently and God says the Israelites were offering their sacrifices, burning their incense, observing their holidays–going thru the religious motions–but there was no heart behind it. He tells them in Isaiah 1:13a, “Stop bringing your meaningless offerings!” That’s exactly what I was doing and all of my religious activity was burning me out. I was tired. Through my daughter’s broken hip, He gave me rest and time to pray about what He wanted for my life, not what I thought sounded good and might please Him. He taught me that less is more.
Thru a series of His fingerprints, He reminded me about what makes my heart beat faster and yet what makes my heart break all at the same time. He reminded me of my passion for the defenseless. He reminded me of my love for doing creative things with my hands. I was onto something now. My spare moments are few, but maybe there was something I could do to marry the two together. That’s when things got crazy–in a good way. Wouldn’t you know that one of my closest friends was thinking along the same lines at the same time? Ha! Isn’t He so funny the way He orchestrates these things?
As my friend, Mo and I sat at the table together while our kids swam, we joined our ideas together, got really excited about all the possibilites and 147SpareMoments was born. We began a business together on Etsy called 147 Spare Moments–our few spare moments invested in 147 million orphans. We take what we make in our spare time and sell it. 100% of our profit goes to orphans! We are having an amazingly great time at this–investing our spare time where it makes a difference. All it took was creating those margins, thinking and praying through every what and why in our lives and saying, “Lord, this is Your time. Do with it what you want.” It’s our small offering, but we pray that He will do much with it.
So if you wonder where I’ve been and why I’m not investing as much into Mommy Map, know that I’m probably creating something for 147SpareMoments. I will write here when I can, but please join us in making a dent in that statistic of there being 147 million orphans. Every little bit counts toward bringing a child home to a family. Check out our shop at:
http://www.147sparemoments.etsy.com/
See you there!
Thanks for sharing your heart! Wonderful!