If you’ve been reading my blog for any length of time, you have heard me wrestle with the issue of how to manage sibling squabbles in my home. I know this is repeat info for those that know me, but again…I am an only child so this whole sibling thing elludes me. I learn much from watching my children be siblings to one another. I especially love those sweet moments, but the quarreling…not so much.
The thing is, because of my lack of experience in this area, I don’t have a guage of what is normal and what is over the top in terms of conflict. All I know is that I want everyone to get along and can’t quite figure out why they can’t do that! It seems simple enough to me, but apparently I must have some more learning to do.
Over the years, I have done research in terms of asking others about sibling stuff, but have wanted to read a book or two on the subject. I want my children to have close relationships with one another so I haven’t wanted to read a book that says it’s all okay. I’ve been seeking to find a book that is Biblically based and has the perspective that it is possible for my children to get along and how to foster that for them.
Well, I had this book, “Making Brothers and Sisters Best Friends” by Sarah, Stephen and Grace Mally, recommended to me and at first was discouraged because it is written by 3 teen siblings. I didn’t expect that, but it has turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I have been reading a portion of the book out loud to my children each day. Because it is written from the voice of kids, they have shown more interest to listen and seem more open to what “they” say.
I have been refreshed to have the authors share a perspective I had never thought of before–that our family is God’s training ground for each of us. As siblings, God is seeking to not only teach them, but He wants to see if they will be faithful with little so that He can entrust them with much. It is teaching them about how a true leader is one who is a servant first. Family is where He shapes and molds them for their life’s purpose.
It has been a blessing each day to learn a positive viewpoint alongside my children and then to be able to “remind” them throughout the day of what we are learning. I can’t say every day is perfect and that some days I’m not exhausted at the end from being so “alert” to learning opportunities, but I thankful to finally feel like we’re getting somewhere in this area.
If you struggle with sibling squabbles, I would encourage you to give this book a read. I am also aware that there is a DVD that goes along with this. We don’t have it and probably won’t utilize that resource (because it’s more money!), but I wanted to at least let you know that resource is out there.
