As I sit here writing tonight, my heart is heavy. All day I intended to write about Scripture Prayers, but then God brought a series of circumstances that made me step back and take a look at how we as moms have so many choices to make–some of them with great results and some not so much. Since this was at the forefront of my mind, I decided to write about it. Kind of like journaling, I guess. It’s really just a simple thought, but yet so complex and with results that impact more than us.

Tonight I had The Negotiator invite me to play a game with him after dinner. He recently made a game and wanted to show it off to me. He saw the idea in a magazine, showed The Driver what he wanted, got the wood cut out, painted it, hammered in the nails and placed the colored rubber bands in their precise locations. He couldn’t wait for me to join him in the celebration of his project being completed. Of course, at the moment he asked me I still had a kitchen to clean up from dinner, 3 baskets of laundry to fold, children to help with bathing and some flowers that needed crocheting. It would’ve been so easy to politely decline and go on my merry way to accomplish my tasks. Instead I chose to set those things calling my name aside to join him and it was totally worth it. We had such a good time together and he was so proud of himself (and so was I) for what he had created!

While we were playing that game, Littlest One was supposed to be upstairs taking a bath. I had made some cookies during dinner and the deal with the kids was that they could each have a cookie after they completed their bathing. Fast forward to a few minutes after that sweet fellowship with The Negotiator and in walks Littlest One. Immediately The Driver (who was also in the room) and I notice that his hair is bone dry. If he had just taken a bath, wouldn’t his hair be wet? Yep, that’s what we thought too. So we asked him about it. He proceeded to tell us that he had taken a bath and that his hair just happened to be dry already. We adults both knew something wasn’t right and began to press him on it. Skip to the end of the story and we WERE right. He didn’t wash his hair and lied to us about it. In our house lying is the worst thing you can do. It is trouble with a capital “T.” Ends up that Littlest One, because of his lying, lost out on fellowship with the family and a fresh baked cookie. Off to bed for the poor guy.

You see, you have to realize that this was heartbreaking for me. This is my baby boy, my Littlest One, my cuddler, the one that can make me smile no matter what. This is the son that has me wrapped around his finger. This is the second time in the last week or so that he’s been caught in a bold-faced lie. He is breaking my heart. Nothing in me wanted to punish him for his lying. I wanted to tell him it was not okay, pat him on the back, give him a cookie and move on, but I knew if I didn’t take action and make some tough choices, he would continue on in his way. I’ve noticed more and more lately that he knows he’s wrapped around my finger and he tries to work me in to what he wants or to push my limits. But in this moment tonight, I knew I had to do what was right and wrestle with my broken Mama’s heart instead of letting him continue in his sin.

When I went to tuck in my boys tonight, Littlest One, of course was mad at me and wouldn’t accept my hugs and kisses. He said, “You hate me.” Stick a dagger in my already grieving heart! But I had to rise above my Mama’s heart that wanted to be a softee and responded, “No, actually I love you so much that I have to do this. I have to punish you for your actions because I love you too much to let you continue in your sin. If I allow you to continue lying, you’ll develop the habit of lying as a means to get what you want and then I won’t ever know when you are lying or telling the truth. Therefore, I will be unable to trust you. I love you too much to allow you to get to that point. I want to trust you, Littlest One. Trust has to be earned and now you have to earn it back.”

Man o’ massey, this has been a night of extreme choices. Great ones with good times and hard ones that have nearly broken my heart, but each one is a tough choice I’ve had to make for the good of my children. No matter how hard this night has been, I’m glad I’ve made the choices I have. One was a choice with immediate fruit, but the other was one that I pray will bloom into some long-term fruit–a choice well worth it.

So Mama Friend out there in blog world, why do I bother to share with you my tough moments? One, because I’d hate for anyone to think I’ve got perfect kids or that I’m perfect. We’re real people here. But number two, because I want to encourage you that “parenting today with the future in mind” means that sometimes we have to make tough choices for the future good of our children. Sometimes Our Mama’s heart thinks it can’t take it, but it must–whether it’s not letting our children get away with poor choices, letting our baby cry it out, or letting our children make mistakes so they will learn. On the positive side of things, we’ve got to also make tough choices that let our tasks go in order to let our children know that they are more important than those tasks. Or sometimes we just have to make the choice to love the unlovely, even when they live under our own roof–that’s positive and negative! So make tough choices today. Here’s hoping your tough choices are easier for you than they were for me today!

Tomorrow is a new day…

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