Choosing where to start her story
has been no easy task because I believe her story has been written into the fabric of our family for longer than we were previously aware, but looking back…she’s been there. We just didn’t see her until now.
In an effort not to bore you with minute details, although some of those are important, I will start with the story of her shoes. If you would like to read the full version of this story, click here. Otherwise, here’s the short version of what happened about four years ago.
While we were in process of adopting Daughter of Purpose, we hadn’t even found her yet, I was in need of serious encouragement from the Lord that we had done the right thing in opening up our lives to the adoption journey. While looking through a bag of hand-me-down clothes with Mini-Me, from a family that had never given us clothes before and never has again—so very random—I happened upon two pairs of toddler girl shoes. They were precious and I knew immediately they were a fingerprint of God of what He had in store for our family and even Mini-Me voiced it too. How did I know? That family had no little children in their family even close to that age. When I later asked them about the shoes, they had no clue what I was talking about. God placed those TWO pairs of shoes in into those bags for me. As tears brimmed in my eyes I knew we were meant to fill them with two little girls from Eastern Europe, I just didn’t know how the story was going to unfold.
The first pair of shoes was filled by Daughter of Purpose in 2008. You can read about her journey into our family here. Initially when we brought her home, it was like a woman remembering her labor pains. I was still remembering the hard work of bringing her home so I had no intentions of “laboring” in that way again—or at least for a long while. We had bonding and family adjustments to make. That has been a journey in itself. You can find snippets of that woven in and out of the fabric of our lives over the past few years written here on The Mommy Map.
Fast forward to the Fall of 2010. The Driver has always been ready to fill the second pair of shoes, but I still wrestled and wondered if maybe I’d heard the Lord wrong. If you know me, that is my way. If the Lord asks me to do something, I need to wrestle with it first and then submit my will to His. This was to be no different.
My kids and I had begun a study on the book of Isaiah with BSF and were plugging along just fine until we began studying Chapter 6. I read verse 8, “Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, ‘Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?’ And I said, ‘Here am I. Send me!’
I don’t know how everyone else read that passage, but I knew right away that this was the beginning of the unfolding of the story of how God would fill that second pair of shoes. Some of my conversations with Him went something like this:
“I am willing, but Lord, really—I’m good with what I have. Five is a good number.”
“I’m glad you are content, but I’m not done.”
“I don’t know if I can do this. I sometimes feel overwhelmed.”
“You are right, you cannot do this, but with Me—you can.”
“What if there is not enough of me to go around?”
“There won’t be enough of you, but there will be enough of Me.”
“Okay, Lord. I am willing, but could we take this slowly?”
Well, it went slow for a little bit.
(Another part of the unfolding will be posted tomorrow…)
Thanks, everyone! Your prayers are carrying us through this insanely crazy timeline! Only by Him have we been able to modify our homestudy, compile a dossier, have it apostilled and shipped to Russia in one week! Crazy!
love hearing all this back story. she is one loved little girl. so proud of you & your family for hearing even His gentle whispers and obeying. excited to pray your sixth child all the way home!
wow! praise the lord! praying for your family as you work toward bringing anika home forever! xox
Oh the edge of my seat, cannot wait to see what God will do, honored to walk this with you. CONGRATULATIONS on another babe!!
Amazing. Just chills all over.
Steph
hi there! i came over from Love’s blog and just wanted you to know i’m praying for your journey with your anika adoption! i’m so excited for you and your family, you have such a beautiful- God-loving family! may He bless you on your path!
abra 🙂